Drowning
by Chihuahua
Summary: Race reminisces...


Author : Chihuahua  
  
Date : 16th December 2001  
  
Disclaimer : I don't own any of the TRA: JQ characters, so I'm not making any cash out of this fic. Therefore, don't sue, I can't pay. The song 'Drowning' belongs to the Backstreet Boys.  
  
Category : MV  
  
Rating : G  
  
Archiver's Permission : Granted to those who want it, just let me know where it can be found.  
  
Drowning  
  
*16th July 2001, Arizona: An arid breeze blows over the Arizonian plains, sweeping up over the Grand Canyons. The Colorado River runs its course, the noise of its passage barely heard over the roar of the wind. Race Bannon perches himself on a rocky precipice, looking over the immense chasm, the evening glow of the sinking sun bringing out the most beautiful hues of reds on the rock. So beautiful. like her hair. *  
  
Don't pretend you're sorry  
  
I know you're not  
  
You know you got the power  
  
To make me weak inside  
  
* 16th July 1978, Arizona: A Range Rover pulls over on the loose arid earth. Sunset was at its most majestic, hues of reds and oranges brought out to its full glory by the fading sunlight. Race holds the door open for his companion, and helps her out. Immediately, all the beauty around him seemed to fade, as a vision of loveliness in his eyes dulled everything else that dared to compare itself to her. *  
  
Girl you leave me breathless  
  
But it's okay 'cause  
  
You are my survival  
  
Now hear me say  
  
I can't imagine life  
  
Without your love  
  
Even forever don't seem  
  
Like long enough  
  
* Race smiles, a bitter smile of bitter-sweet memories. He remembers how he had felt short of breath, and it wasn't the altitude. It had been their first official meeting out of a local bar, and it felt somewhat free to be out of uniform. He had a forty-eight hour leave and he had resolved to make every second with her count. *  
  
'Cause every time I breathe  
  
I take you in  
  
And my heart beats again  
  
Baby I can't help it  
  
You keep me  
  
Drowning in your love  
  
Every time I try to rise above  
  
I'm swept away by love  
  
Baby I can't help it  
  
You keep me  
  
Drowning in your love  
  
* 7th June 1980, Race gave his duffel a thump, flattening a lump. He checked his watch, a sheepish grin stretching across his tan face. He was due to be discharged in five minutes, and he couldn't wait to get back to her. Over the past two years, he had amazed himself. He had never thought of himself as a guy who could keep a long-term relationship, what more a long-distance one. Even more amazing, he had seen her less than five times during their entire relationship, it had all been letters, or at the very least, postcards.  
  
"What's with the grin, Bannon?" a heavy Texan drawl shook him out of his reverie. A moment later, he felt a heavy, meaty hand ruffling his hair.  
  
"Cut it out, Jay!" Race said, pushing his buddy out of the way, attempting to smooth down his silver crew cut. "I'm meeting her." he trailed off, slightly embarrassed.  
  
"Ah. the Columbian chick huh?" a knowing smile crossed Jay's face. "Someone's a smitten kitten." The teasing tone he used carried a hint of envy.  
  
"I have been a smitten kitten for the past two years," Race snapped. "I just want to look nice for her. you know, tonight's a big night."  
  
Jay looked astounded. "You mean." he stopped in mid-sentence when Race flashed something at his face.  
  
"Yeah. It isn't much, but it was all I could afford for now." Race stood there silently, staring at the simple ring he had purchased over six months ago. The brilliant diamond seemed bring out the simplicity of the band, making it seem all the more beautiful to him.  
  
Jay faked a sob and dabbed at his eyes with an imaginary hanky. "Why Race, ya shouldn't have. Such grandeur for lil' ol' me?" he said in a high falsetto.  
  
Race just grinned and shut the box, pocketing it with more caution than he had exhibited with hand grenades. "See ya around, Jay!" He gave the man a brief hug before heading for the door.  
  
"Ya go get her!" Jay shouted encouragingly. *  
  
Maybe I'm a drifter  
  
Late at night  
  
'Cause I long for the safety  
  
Of flowing freely  
  
In your arms  
  
I don't need another lover  
  
It's not for me  
  
'Cause only you can save me  
  
Oh can't you see  
  
I can't imagine life  
  
Without your love  
  
And even forever don't seem  
  
Like long enough  
  
* The train ride was Hell! The overcrowded carriages were filled with screaming children, bawling babies, frustrated parents, grouchy fogies and a whole melting pot of 'characters'. Race endured it all by blocking out everything, and focusing his thoughts on her.  
  
She didn't even know he had been discharged and that he was on his way to meet her. Two years. he had never been a happier man than when with her. Her emerald eyes that seem to captivate him, her arms that knew exactly how to hold him when he needed it. She was the one thing that had seem to make all the wrongs in his life right, and he hoped that he was good for her too.  
  
Without knowing it, his hand had traveled to his pocket, and he squeezed the box reassuringly.  
  
"Forever to hold and to cherish, till death do us part." He mentally went through his vows, watching the dark shadows go by. He had not noticed the sun setting at the western horizon. *  
  
'Cause every time I breathe  
  
I take you in  
  
And my heart beats again  
  
Baby I can't help it  
  
You keep me  
  
Drowning in your love  
  
Every time I try to rise above  
  
I'm swept away by love  
  
Baby I can't help it  
  
You keep me  
  
Drowning in your love  
  
Go on and pull me under  
  
Cover me with dreams, yeah  
  
Love me mouth to mouth now  
  
You know I can't resist  
  
'Cause you're the air  
  
That I breathe  
  
* Race stepped out of the crowded carriage, dodging a couple of kids. The station was a bustle of activity, porters rushing over the dusty platforms to collect the piles of luggage, family greeting family and friends welcoming friends. For a moment, he longed to see her bouncing red curls peeking over the crowd, searching for him. He had spent the entire day thinking of little else but her.  
  
He took a breath of Columbian air. Instead of the dry dust and exhaust fumes, he smelled her scent. Once more, he patted his pocket. Feeling the hardness of the box, he exited the station, a look of resolve coming over his satisfied smile. *  
  
Every time I breathe  
  
I take you in  
  
And my heart beats again  
  
Baby I can't help it  
  
You keep me  
  
Drowning in your love  
  
Every time I try to rise above  
  
I'm swept away by love  
  
And baby I can't help it  
  
You keep me  
  
Drowning your love  
  
* Race hopped off the jeep, grimacing at the ache in his back quarters. The journey over the rugged South American jungle paths had been cruel. He had hitched a ride off a couple of her colleagues. There wasn't any space at the front, so he had hopped onto the back, with the groceries and other stuff they had purchased.  
  
He spotted her fiery mane almost immediately. She was streaked with mud and coated with a fine layer of dry dust. Her hair was unkempt under her faded bandana, her khaki shirt bearing a small rip down one sleeve. Her shorts were soiled, but her legs were long and tanned.  
  
He jogged over to her, and grabbed her from behind. He was only partially surprised when she used a move he had taught her and flipped him over her shoulder.  
  
"Race!" was her shocked greeting.  
  
He simply grinned, picked himself up and kissed her. "You look great!"  
  
"Oh yeah, get her close-up, soiled khakis are so the latest fad!" she said, every hint of sarcasm simmering in the heat.  
  
"They are," Race replied seriously, before laughing. "The heck should I know! But you look great anyway!"  
  
"Since. when. what's the occasion?" she asked, obviously lost for words.  
  
Race's grin faded. "Come with me," he said softly, pulling her by her arms to the nearby tents. They ducked into one that seemed to act as a meeting place as well as a canteen.  
  
"Race, what.?" She didn't finish her sentence as he dropped to his knees. "Oh, God!"  
  
"Estella, will you make me the happiest man alive by marrying me?" The words seemed to just rush out, before he had a chance to hesitate.  
  
The only sounds audible then were the bussing flies that seemed to be abundant at the excavation site.  
  
Slowly, Estella extended her hand and pulled Race to his feet. Then, she pulled him into a passionate kiss, before breaking to say, "I do!". He pulled apart, smiling and slipped the ring onto her finger. His smiled widened when the ring slipped on and fitted perfectly. Thank God he had kept that bowling ball she had used, he had gotten the size of her finger of it.  
  
There was a loud chorus of cheers, whistles, catcalls and claps all around them. Estella's entire archeological team had grouped around the tent during the proposal. *  
  
Baby I can't help it  
  
Keep me drowning  
  
In your love  
  
I keep drowning  
  
In your love  
  
Baby I can't help it  
  
Can't help it no, no  
  
'Cause every time I breathe  
  
I take you in  
  
And my heart beats again  
  
Baby I can't help it  
  
You keep me  
  
Drowning in your love  
  
Every time I try to rise above  
  
I'm swept away by love  
  
Baby I can't help it  
  
You keep me  
  
Drowning in your love  
  
* A tear slid down Race's face as the sun disappeared beyond the horizon, its final rays giving way to darkness. The marriage had ended five years after that wonderful day. The date was still fresh in his mind, 8th June 1985. He had been called back to serve his country once more, this time as an I-1 agent. The job had drawn him away from his loving wife and lovely newborn daughter.  
  
He didn't blame her; he had been a lousy husband and father, loving when he was around, but hardly ever around longer than a week each month. He had returned home after an entire month away, infiltrating some suspected terrorist activity in Moscow on their fifth anniversary. Estella had handed him the divorce papers on the spot, telling him that she couldn't handle fearing for him anymore. Telling him how she loved him too much to lose him to his enemies. If she had to lose him, she would rather it happened on her own will.  
  
He had cried all through the night, and he cried now. But he wasn't ashamed. As Estella had once told him, and these words he cherished: Big boys don't cry, but men do. *  
  
THE END 


End file.
